That’s right Oracle, keep us far away from Ellison and keep us sedated!

So, Oracle’s strategy for keeping peace at the conference is internment and booze.   I was one of the many javaone attendees who was intercepted trying to attend the opening keynote speech by Larry Ellison.  If you managed to get past the security guard (yes!  effing SECURITY guard) at the escalator, then you were probably identified by sight from about 20 yards by a conference staffer (or perhaps their’s an RFID chip in our badges) and then told, “We’ve had a change of plan.  Javaone has something fun for you at the Hilton.”  To which I responded, “Great!  That DOES sound fun, but we want to hear what Ellison has to say.”  Denied. 

Turns out, we were able to catch part of his talk via simulcast at the Hilton.  Let me break it down for you:

What we used to call scalable is now called “elastic”, and management types LOVE to play with the word “cloud”.  Even better:  Elastic Cloud.

Ok, so “internment” is a bit of a stretch.  We had a good time with good food and plenty to drink, and occasionally, we even looked up at the enormous screens and caught a snippet of what Ellison had to say.  He talked.  And talked. And talked and used a nifty powerpoint presentation with lots of bullet points.

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